I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
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my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
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So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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