She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
