if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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