I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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