I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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