i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
