i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
