Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
