i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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