Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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