I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
