I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
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