Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
How does one acquire holy water?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
