can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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