i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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