If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
