He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
