this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize