Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize