I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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