About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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