it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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