Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
