So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
