She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
