Is it because I queefed?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
