piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize