Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
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The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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