Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
