so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
