did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
