Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Randomize
