i don't like sucking hair
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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