someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Pants are for mortals
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
