here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
