Texts From Last Night

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  (315): View more from New York

  im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!

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  (315): im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone! http://tfl.nu/rzxj
  Replies (41) Good night (3174) Bad night (1103)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...

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  (425): I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results... http://tfl.nu/tn0b
  Replies (14) Good night (1159) Bad night (7846)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...

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  (303): Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water... http://tfl.nu/8ncn
  Replies (12) Good night (6796) Bad night (1319)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone just got laid.

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  (480): Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness? (774): Someone just got laid. http://tfl.nu/ub8q
  Replies (17) Good night (9290) Bad night (1248)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...

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  (215): There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave... http://tfl.nu/jtzo
  Replies (9) Good night (2814) Bad night (2509)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.

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  (416): I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for. http://tfl.nu/1pjy
  Replies (13) Good night (3850) Bad night (1131)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment

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  (720): It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment http://tfl.nu/cuki
  Replies (8) Good night (1670) Bad night (798)
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  (310): View more from California

  My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius

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  (310): My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius http://tfl.nu/fnfz
  Replies (7) Good night (1652) Bad night (537)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.

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  (708): Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea. http://tfl.nu/kw7e
  Replies (5) Good night (420) Bad night (1390)
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  (530): View more from California

  Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?

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  (530): Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river? http://tfl.nu/gd5u
  Replies (14) Good night (1692) Bad night (412)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.

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  (913): I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against. http://tfl.nu/anj9
  Replies (0) Good night (560) Bad night (288)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.

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  (434): do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night? (540): yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you. http://tfl.nu/hqli
  Replies (1) Good night (796) Bad night (431)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face

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  (609): jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face http://tfl.nu/r9ws
  Replies (3) Good night (726) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was

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  (850): Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was http://tfl.nu/le26
  Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (254)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.

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  (+61): I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back. http://tfl.nu/04mr
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (191)

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