Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.

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(716): u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you. http://tfl.nu/wk7e

Replies (51) Good night (943) Bad night (5015)
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(716): View more from New York

I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?

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(716): I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone? http://tfl.nu/d362

Replies (8) Good night (1705) Bad night (2664)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka

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(617): They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka http://tfl.nu/47bx

Replies (4) Good night (4737) Bad night (900)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight

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(615): I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight http://tfl.nu/tvrj

Replies (31) Good night (6893) Bad night (1915)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.

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(913): Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high. http://tfl.nu/x992

Replies (7) Good night (813) Bad night (1541)
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(360): View more from Washington

What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.

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(360): What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is. http://tfl.nu/1m0s

Replies (11) Good night (2334) Bad night (715)
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(435): View more from Utah

Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.

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(435): Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday. http://tfl.nu/eusa

Replies (4) Good night (1021) Bad night (533)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.

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(215): I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing. http://tfl.nu/pyii

Replies (15) Good night (1738) Bad night (548)
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(903): View more from Texas

Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.

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(903): Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell. http://tfl.nu/clzb

Replies (4) Good night (708) Bad night (461)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.

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(919): Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night. http://tfl.nu/j5x3

Replies (4) Good night (353) Bad night (602)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.

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(717): Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move. http://tfl.nu/dnjl

Replies (6) Good night (911) Bad night (560)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...

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(312): I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE... http://tfl.nu/ssdd

Replies (2) Good night (404) Bad night (658)
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(707): View more from California

We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.

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(707): We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night. http://tfl.nu/a9w1

Replies (0) Good night (567) Bad night (262)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.

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(319): I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there. http://tfl.nu/ome2

Replies (7) Good night (1162) Bad night (303)
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(757): View more from Virginia

If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.

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(757): If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible. http://tfl.nu/lbns

Replies (2) Good night (468) Bad night (132)

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