I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.