my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
it glows. i had to have it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??