I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
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The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.