My nipple is on Facebook.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.