Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/hc6j
  Replies (17) Good night (2715) Bad night (1369)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !

  (1-716): View more from New York

  How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today ! (1-716): How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...' http://tfl.nu/v4tn
  Replies (48) Good night (9606) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it http://tfl.nu/djus
  Replies (8) Good night (4124) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened. http://tfl.nu/bvmz
  Replies (154) Good night (628) Bad night (2765)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas http://tfl.nu/5ruz
  Replies (46) Good night (4887) Bad night (1396)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout. http://tfl.nu/7ut3
  Replies (3) Good night (4473) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex. http://tfl.nu/3ix3
  Replies (19) Good night (2420) Bad night (6168)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself. http://tfl.nu/9xij
  Replies (15) Good night (3264) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever http://tfl.nu/czge
  Replies (3) Good night (1067) Bad night (2420)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up? http://tfl.nu/g9ke
  Replies (19) Good night (760) Bad night (1831)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories. http://tfl.nu/ce15
  Replies (15) Good night (2169) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower... http://tfl.nu/43yc
  Replies (16) Good night (584) Bad night (2211)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  ............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): ............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help http://tfl.nu/sdm1
  Replies (6) Good night (534) Bad night (1673)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am. http://tfl.nu/pjgw
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too" http://tfl.nu/q2jl
  Replies (1) Good night (391) Bad night (173)

Randomize