i think my tv is drunk
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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