You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
