dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
