I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
