I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
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