idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
