whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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