1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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