As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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