I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Panties = found
Randomize
