I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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