I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
NoShamevember. You game?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
