I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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