Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
