just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
