Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
