doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
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what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Can you bring me the toilet please
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I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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