I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
