Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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