I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
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Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
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You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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