Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
